I did a blog post on loving myself last year. I remember at that time saying I still wasn't there yet. Now, I believe I am. I do love myself. It was a process. It took awhile from going to literally hating myself, who I was and how I acted to giving myself some grace, embracing all the parts of me and finally, accepting who I am. I am always striving to be a better person. That is what life is all about for me. Learning and growing. Becoming a better version of myself day by day. And that is what I'm doing. It's not always easy. I don't always feel successful. But I do know that I'm always trying. And when a setback hits, when it feels like I'm taking two steps back, I know I can find my way again.
Don't get me wrong. There are still a lot of things I am unhappy about. In this picture, those forehead lines and that lovely H in between my eyebrows. Ugh! I haven't done botox yet. I don't know yet if I want to commit to that. I did just start a new skin care routine that is supposed to help with my dark spots. Hopefully, it works. Those curls. Oh, how I loathed them for so long. In another example of how we always want what we don't have, I wanted Jennifer Anniston poker straight hair. I would get it blown out when going to the hair stylist. I would try it myself, but I only seemed to anger it and made it frizz. I started to embrace my curls. Mostly because it was just easier. Then, people started to notice it. People started loving up on it. I would meet someone new and they would rant and rave about how great my hair was. ???? But, but, but....I hate it! Maybe I should give it a little love and see what it can really do. The problem with curly hair is it really doesn't have a style. You either have short, curly hair or long curly hair. But I have learned how it needs to be cut in order to look the best on me. Where it doesn't puff out so much because that has been a big problem for me. I also have the blessing of the most amazing hair stylist on earth. She knows her stuff. And she knows when I spend a billion dollars on highlights, how to do them just right for optimal viewing of them. I've had them done by countless others and can never seem to see themself in the mirror. She has told me you have to do a little different application for curls so they are easily visible. I will always go back to her for highlights...always!
I won't even get into all the things I dislike about my body. My thunder thighs and cellulite. The way my boobs don't look at all like they used to. I noticed when I put on my bathing suit the other day that I have old lady cleavage now. Womp, womp. What to do? Aside from a really supportive bathing suit (is there such a thing that is still fashionable?) or surgery, they are where they are. But I am working hard on my body right now. I try to focus on what it can do rather than what it looks like. I'm big into strength training because it makes you strong. As we age, we need strength more than anything. It's what will protect us from injury. This is one of the ways I stay motivated to keep up my workouts. I'm 50 and I already wake up with a back and neck ache every day. Is this normal? Am I too young for this to be happening already? I know that working out will keep these types of things to more of a minimum. And honestly, I'm so grateful and in wonder of all my body can do. It still does every single thing I tell it to after being around for half a century. I would like that streak to continue.
Since we talked about our faults and how far we've come earlier this week, hopefully you are feeling good about your accomplishments and your personality traits. Like I've said before, improve as you go but don't be so hard on yourself if you fall back into some old habits here and there. This time of quarantine is especially crucial. I hope you got a chance to read the article I posted on the group page yesterday about why we are so unsettled. It is to be expected! So you ate a bag of doritos or had a pint (or more) of ice cream. You spent the last two weeks in front of the t-v. It's okay! Do you feel any better? No, then it isn't working. Try something different. If it did make you feel better, then great. Now it's time to be productive again. You can lounge in front of the t-v again in a few days. Knowing yourself, what works for you and what doesn't helps so much. No one knows you better than you so trust your own instincts. Everyone handles things differently. Don't let someone tell you you are doing it wrong. If it's the best way for you, then it's not wrong. But please, get your head out of the bag of doritos and turn the t-v off for a little while. If you haven't been able to do that yet, try it for one hour. Go out for a walk. Sit in the sun and take in your surroundings. Feel gratitude for what you do have. Focus on the good and downplay the bad. It's not always easy but it does get easier over time.
We are all born with so many different personality traits. We are all unique with our own special gifts. There is no right or wrong. Unless you're a jerk of course. But I doubt that is you. Embrace who you knowing that you are special. You were born for greatness. You deserve all the things you want in life, if you are willing to work for it. And if you don't feel that way, then you have some sort of limiting belief that makes you feel less than and that will take work to get through. Make no mistake, this is work. But so is anything you want to get better at. You can't get the body of your dreams by sitting on the couch. Why do people think they can get happier by sitting on the couch? Guess what? You won't. Do the work it takes to see what is holding you back and what it is you really want out of this life of yours. Time is running out. Start now. If you don't love yourself yet, figure out how you can. Gratitude is a great place to start. You may not have everything you want but if you look around, you probably have a lot. And you wouldn't have all this greatness if you weren't great. Make a list of the things you already love about yourself. Yes, there are some things you must love. Don't be bashful. Shout them right out. Look at your list. Feel grateful for the things on them. Focus on the love for those things and you will find yourself appreciating more and more about yourself. Don't believe it? Prove me wrong then.
One step at a time. Love your body for what it can do. Love your personality because it is who makes you, you. Love your brain for providing you with the tools to get better and better. Love your heart because it bring all the love into your life. Love yourself. You are pretty great. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and say...you are a badass.
Now, go do the work. Figure it out. Work on yourself. It's so important. It is the most fascinating work you will ever do and it will be so worth it. Tomorrow we will focus on the words we use and how it shapes our opinion of ourselves and everything else. Now, go make today, your best day yet!
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