I’ve come to a realization recently. Watch out because I’m going to share it with you. I’ve talked about how I read about 57 self help books until I found one that really resonated with me. One that really struck and broke it down in a way that made actually want to try what they were suggesting. That book, of course, was “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. I think what made her book different for me was 1. I may have just been finally ready to make a real change. But more than that, 2. I think she dumbed it down for me. I think she broke through all the issues I’ve always had with all this personal growth crap (which is what I always referred to it as). It’s funny when you think about it because I wanted so much to be happier and had a steady diet of self-help books but I couldn’t it admit it…mostly to myself. There was still so much of a stigma attached to trying to find ways to be happier. Like you were a loser if you needed a book to help figure it out. The same type of stigma that was attached to seeing a therapist. There still is some stigma attached to those things but nothing like it used to be.
So, in this book the author admitted that some of the things she was asking us to do would make us feel stupid. But then she told us to do it anyway. Hmmm…do it anyway. I put some thought into thought. Dr. Phil’s voice was resonating in my head; “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Maybe this was the same thing. Because let me tell you I was way too cool to do affirmations and write myself notes telling me how great I am. I mean, really. Who does those silly things? Then it dawned on me: oh, yeah…happy people!
I finally figured I had nothing to lose. I mean, you all must know that I am the ultimate in coolness. It just oozes out of me. But I was willing to put it all on the line and lose a few cool points to see if this “crap” actually worked. That’s the funniest part. Who was I trying to be so cool for? Myself? I have never been a very cool person. I don’t think I was too much of a nerd but cool may be stretching it. So, I’m not even sure what my obsession with being “cool” was. I wasn’t cool in high school. I wasn’t cool in college. I had a cool job in radio but it didn’t mean I was cool. In fact, most of my early co-workers would tell you that I was anything but cool. But somehow I had convinced myself that I was indeed cool and I had to protect that at all costs!
The fact is that doing some of these things did make me feel stupid. Until I started doing them and realized they worked. Have you ever tried visualization? They say actors do it all the time. They envision themselves in the part they are going for. Actors are cool, aren’t they? Well, some are…some aren’t. But really, does it even matter? Once I let go of my need to be cool things started to change for me.
Not only do I realize now that I never really was cool but I’m even more on the nerdy side now than I ever have been. You know why? Because nerdy people have fun. And they don’t care if other people think they are nerds. (Well, still maybe a little bit.) I do more silly stuff now that I have ever done in my whole life. Again, you know why? Because fun people are silly. When you are happy you feel silly and want to do silly things. I break out in song numerous times a day. Any song that happens to pop into my head. I mock my husband all the time and make fun of him. Don’t worry, he doesn’t mind and he does the same to me. I have spiel I go though with the dog. When I come home I ask her all sorts of questions. Like, what’s the scoop, poop? Whadda ya think, stink? What’s happening, home slice? I think she likes it. My point is…I’ve never been more of a geek than I am right now and guess what…I’ve never been happier.
So, my advice to you is to get over yourself. You can continue to be cool or you can happy. Maybe you would rather be cool than geekfully happy. And that’s okay. I will continue to break out in song and love my life. I hope you will do the same!
It’s “I wish it were cocktail Friday” Thursday. One more day to the freaking weekend! Think about how cool you think you are and how important it really is in your life? Now, go make it your silliest, best day yet!
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